The powers that pass judgment on us... They're simply those who hold power, be they gods or demons. There's no rule that says they must be fair or just.
Sinners go to hell. Whatever. It's supposed to be so they can be punished for their sins or atone or whatever, but when more sins get heaped on them because of things outside of their control, that's just, just... ugh!!
No, you really are. [he sets his drink down a little roughly.] You have been super nice and helpful to people even when you just want your peace and quiet, but you keep going, "Oh, I'm a terrible person! I deserve to be here! My sins are crawling on my back!" I just... come on, dude, any of us who have spent more than two freakin' seconds with you can tell you're much nicer than you give yourself credit for. So be at least half as nice to yourself as you are to the rest of us!!
[
he is so drunk right now but tbh i think he'd say this even if he was sober]
You don't understand. For years, I served as Rezo's berserker. Using this body, forged for violence, I...
[oh wow look it's memshare time. they're dropped in the memhole. they probably spill their beer all over. but at least this will finally prove the kind of monstrous life he--]
MEMORY: "LULU"
You follow a few steps behind the rest of your companions, stopping to let out a heavy sigh. They're all dressed in feminine clothes, even the men -- and you're no exception. The dress you're wearing swishes around your legs as you walk, and you can't fully ignore the smell of powder. Apparently, it wasn't enough for you to be dressed up, but they had to paint and powder your face as well...
But for now, you tolerate it. After all, there was no choice...
Out of the corner of your eye, you see a lone girl sitting under a tree, and as the sound of your companions' chatter grows more distant, you find yourself compelled to approach her. She's familiar, and her sadness can be felt even from where you stand. You're not sure what you plan to do or say, but... should she really be left alone like that?
As you draw near, she looks up with a start.
"I... didn't mean to disturb you," you say cautiously.
Her gaze falls downward. "... Thank you for saving my life. But at the same time, it meant an end to my escape from home..."
Before you know it, you're sitting with her, under the tree. Listening to her tell you about her problems, her feelings.
"... What is your name?" she asks suddenly.
"Zel--" Wait, no. That last syllable hangs in the air for a second. "--Lulu."
"Lulu, would you be angry to hear I was jealous of you and your friends? It was my mother who decided my future for me... My feelings had nothing to do with it. It's my destiny. But I can't stand it anymore! I hate this false life I lead... It must be hard to understand for someone who travels so freely."
"It's easy to change the future," you say simply.
"Huh?"
Oops. You repeat, with a distinctly softer tone, "Um... I mean, I'm sure it's possible for you to change the future..."
She smiles. "You're a nice person, Lulu." You can feel your face getting hot. Does it show, through the stone and the layer of makeup? You're not sure, but--
Someone reaches from behind you and grabs your throat in chokehold. "Miss Lulu, it's time we were leaving the city!" a familiar voice sings directly into your ear. After trying and failing to pry her arm from your throat, you stand and walk away with your obnoxious companion hanging on to you.
In that moment... yeah. My classmates just would not leave me alone about the "stand there and get hugged for money" idea. It was too much.
[...]
But it's also... I felt closer to my mom, dressing up like that. She always loved beautiful things. And I know that's why I love fashion so much - I got that from her. I love beautiful things just like she did. ...plus, it really pissed off my dad, haha.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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No kidding...
It's starting to look like it doesn't even matter if we want to kill each other or not.
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[he does airquotes and gives a little huff.]
I know this is hell but that doesn't seem right to me.
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[how many beers has he had already? a lot.]
Sinners go to hell. Whatever. It's supposed to be so they can be punished for their sins or atone or whatever, but when more sins get heaped on them because of things outside of their control, that's just, just... ugh!!
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[sighs]
...what's the saying? "You are your own worst critic"?
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[
he is so drunk right now but tbh i think he'd say this even if he was sober]
1/2
[oh wow look it's memshare time. they're dropped in the memhole. they probably spill their beer all over. but at least this will finally prove the kind of monstrous life he--]
But for now, you tolerate it. After all, there was no choice...
Out of the corner of your eye, you see a lone girl sitting under a tree, and as the sound of your companions' chatter grows more distant, you find yourself compelled to approach her. She's familiar, and her sadness can be felt even from where you stand. You're not sure what you plan to do or say, but... should she really be left alone like that?
As you draw near, she looks up with a start.
"I... didn't mean to disturb you," you say cautiously.
Her gaze falls downward. "... Thank you for saving my life. But at the same time, it meant an end to my escape from home..."
Before you know it, you're sitting with her, under the tree. Listening to her tell you about her problems, her feelings.
"... What is your name?" she asks suddenly.
"Zel--" Wait, no. That last syllable hangs in the air for a second. "--Lulu."
"Lulu, would you be angry to hear I was jealous of you and your friends? It was my mother who decided my future for me... My feelings had nothing to do with it. It's my destiny. But I can't stand it anymore! I hate this false life I lead... It must be hard to understand for someone who travels so freely."
"It's easy to change the future," you say simply.
"Huh?"
Oops. You repeat, with a distinctly softer tone, "Um... I mean, I'm sure it's possible for you to change the future..."
She smiles. "You're a nice person, Lulu." You can feel your face getting hot. Does it show, through the stone and the layer of makeup? You're not sure, but--
Someone reaches from behind you and grabs your throat in chokehold. "Miss Lulu, it's time we were leaving the city!" a familiar voice sings directly into your ear. After trying and failing to pry her arm from your throat, you stand and walk away with your obnoxious companion hanging on to you.
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So who was thaaaat? You seemed to be pretty into her!
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We just... talked a couple times, that's all!
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[They literally both just saw him.]
I was only in that city for a day or two... We never saw each other again.
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[go talk to her again once you come back to life, dude!!!
...is what kuranosuke would say, except the screen is flickering to life again and a different memory is playing.]
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Was that the start of it? This... fashion hobby of yours.
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[he smiles.]
Well, kind of. I've always been into fashion. But that was when I started dressing up.
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[...]
But it's also... I felt closer to my mom, dressing up like that. She always loved beautiful things. And I know that's why I love fashion so much - I got that from her. I love beautiful things just like she did. ...plus, it really pissed off my dad, haha.
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Fuck that. I take things seriously, I just hate politics!
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